Dying is the Easy Part
by Beldar of Remulak
Summary: One shot. Fem shep post choice at the end of mass effect 3. Exploring what could happen and her thoughts up until her rescue


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mass Effect or any of the Characters…sadly.

**A/N: **Started this a couple months ago, but did not finish due to an unhealthy obssession of Hunger Games, so I do apologize if this is an over used plot line. ONE SHOT.

**Dying is the Easy Part**

*Thump Thump*

The familiar sound of Shepard's heart beat echoed through her semi-conscious state. She inhaled sharply trying to break through the fog of her mind and to make sure it was real. She was alive. She survived despite what the Catalyst said. When Shepard made her choice to destroy all synthetic life, she accepted her fate. Not that she wanted to die, far from it, but if she were to be lost to save the Galaxy…to save her crew… her Kaiden, then so be it.

Her heart continued its steady beat as the reality of her current situation made itself ever clear by the pain of each intake of breath. Her body ached to move, but Shepard found that impossible at the moment. The rubble of the Citadel encased her twisted body into a concrete tomb. Luckily, a portion of her upper body and right arm we clear enough to wiggle her bloodied hand free and start the slow process of freeing herself.

Carefully removing piece by piece, Shepard made slow progress fighting through the pain…always fighting, always sacrificing. She was tired of it. Despite having the warrior's spirit, Shepard was ready for a long break, if not break altogether.

Maybe Kaiden could be apart of that break if he survived. Shepard sighed as she thought of the possibilities. Smiling when she settled on a thought, Vancouver. They could vacation or even maybe settle there. Start a new beginning, one where they would not be torn apart. One where Kaiden would be at home and where he was could be her home.

Coming back to reality, Shepard's hands soon found a road block. A concrete slab made its home on her waist, pinning her to her current half seated position. Her left side was a mess, the wound in her abdomen throbbed in pain and she had a couple broke ribs. Her left shoulder was definitely dislocated and myriad of cuts, burns, and fresh bruises littered her body. The effort to partly clear herself took its toll.

_Breathe, Breathe, Breathe _Shepard chanted to herself trying to find her center.

Listening again to her heart's vibration, Shepard's thoughts drifted into a pleasant memory… a memory of her heart pounding so close to Kaiden's, syncing to one another as if they were one. The night before Ilos. Shepard smiled. Thoughts of Kaiden usually had that effect on her. There was something about him that Shepard was immediately drawn to and she knew that she should probably keep her distance, but she always seemed to be taking him on most of the ground missions. Talking about his past, her past, and even some battle field flirting.

With that night before Ilos, Shepard might have made the first move, but unlike her past romantic trysts, she relinquished control. She could be vulnerable and not be Commander Shepard, the rock, the leader, the one calling all the shots. She was a woman in the arms of a strong man who, unquestionably, knew what he was doing. Shepard relished the feeling of being in his strong arms, taking in his aura.

A tear rolled down Shepard's cheek. Her hope faltered stuck in this concrete tomb. Maybe it was her destiny to die? But dying was the easy part. Shepard learned that lesson on Horizon after their first encounter post resurrection. It was not a pleasant experience.

The memory was vivid. They were both stubborn and letting their emotions take over without truly listen to what the other was saying. After Shepard returned to the Normandy, without Kaiden, she was livid, angry, confused, and sorry. She huffed into her cabin pulling at her dark locks. How could he say such things to her? He was not the one to be spaced. To die. To feel your life leave your body, your vision going dark without closing your eyes…

Only after receiving Kaiden's letter of apology, did Shepard realize that maybe she had been the lucky one. When you die, you are just gone. You don't feel pain, you are at peace. She could not imagine having to walk around with half your soul, to live with the regrets, the hurt, the pain, the void of losing the most precious part of your life. Shepard refused to leave him again.

Static pulsed in Shepard's ear, snapping her out of her memories. Someone was trying to get through to her, but nothing was clear. Hope. There was hope. Shepard frantically tried to respond and given a general description of where she was prior to the explosion and not truly knowing where her current locations was.

They had to find her. This cannot be her end.

Crackles and static was a continued response for what seemed like an eternity, but periodically she would repeat her location to the best of her knowledge, begging for someone to be receiving the message.

Shepard struggled to remain awake. She had to live. She could not die on Kaiden again, but the pain…the pain was overwhelming her senses and she wanted to surrender to its demanding presence.

No longer being able to keep her eyes open. Her mind returned to a foggy sate, not fully conscious, but not fully alert when _he_ finally found her. She knew he would be the one. She could feel his unease despite her lack of mental functioning at the moment. She knew she must have looked bad.

"I was waiting for you", Shepard stated to Kaiden as she weakly caressed his cheek, feeling his tears.

He gave a half chuckle is response, reaching to her hand so he can turn to kiss her palm. "I would never stop looking for you".

Her mind started to sink back to the darkness as she heard shouts alerting others that she was found and help was needed ASAP. Feeling like life was in slow motion, she was suddenly surrounded by friends and fellow soldiers, jointly lifting the weight of the concrete entrapment off of her. She was moved onto something cold and was being carried, her hand found Kiaden's and she lightly caressed it while he and Garrus carted her away to an unknown destination.

She could hear Kaiden and Garrus begging for her to hold on and hold on she did. She did not pass out until she was sedated by the medical staff.

She survived. She did not take the easy route and die. She held on and she intended to live her life…her life with Kaiden.

Haven't written in awhile, so all reviews and writing tips are welcome and appreciated.


End file.
